


On The Subject Of Crossdressing

by CypherAnachem



Series: Dresses and Sburb Players [1]
Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Crossdressing, F/F, Human culture sure is weird, M/M, Multi, Three Year Trip, implied rosemary - Freeform, meteor crew, plush strider rump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-22
Updated: 2015-10-22
Packaged: 2018-04-27 15:46:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5054548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CypherAnachem/pseuds/CypherAnachem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Knight had seen some interesting things in his twelve sweeps—he’d seen kingdoms fall, the dead rise, the creation of a star the size of several universes, and even aliens. But this… Something about this grabbed his attention the way nothing else had.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On The Subject Of Crossdressing

**== > Dave: Complain for the fifth time in as many minutes.**

    “kanaya, you sure this is gonna- _ahh fuck._ ” Dave grit his teeth, continuing after the pressure lessened. “you sure this’ll look fine?”

     “Dear I Have Told You Several Times Within The Last Few Minutes,” the seamstress grunted, her arms straining again as the Time Player tensed again, “That Unless You Have Gained Any Excess Mass Since We Last Met This Should Do The Trick.” She quirked an eyebrow. “Have You Been Dipping Into The Alchemized Baked Goods Again”

     She’s met with a forced chuckle. “what can i say, im always a slut for app _les goddammit that’s tight”_

     Kanaya sighed, preparing herself again. “Well,” she began, “After Today We Should Redo Your Measurements So This Problem Does Not Occur Again. And Do Cut Back On The Apple Based Desserts Because I Doubt A Diet That High In Fiber Is Good For You.” Her hands tensed into fists. “One Last One Should Do The Trick—Please Pull Your Abdomen In Dave.”

     He does as he’s told, and he feels the air rush out of him for a moment. Kanaya finishes, and pats his shoulder. Dave straightens, and releases his held breath, actually sort of comfortable. The beautiful corset now wrapped around his torso felt like it was tailor-made for him—well, him about two pounds ago. Nevertheless, the garment accentuated his narrow waist and (admittedly) feminine hips. The blood red contrasted greatly with his fair skin, and the scratched disc that served as his emblem rested on his neck, Kanaya having alchemized a choker last time they were together. She let him strut around the room, his long, elegant legs in black tights, his ruby red high heels clacking with every step. If she didn’t know any better (and if she didn’t already have a perfectly happy matespritship), she would have taken Dave for herself. “Would You Like Me To Apply Your Makeup Now?”

     He turned, an obviously practiced move, and Kanaya had to bite her tongue to stop the almost _too_ appreciative noise that nearly escaped her lips. Dave took off his glasses, letting his crimson eyes be seen by his partner-in-crime, and he nodded. “im but a humble canvas for your badass face art to shine on.” She waited for him to join her at her vanity, lipstick and blush and mascara already ready and waiting to be applied. Dave wasn’t sure exactly _when_ they’d started this little arrangement, nor which one of them asked first, but he was glad he didn’t have to try on such beautiful garments behind closed doors—Earth was long gone, and with it, any preconceived notions of what he ‘could’ or ‘couldn’t’ wear. He pursed his lips, waiting for Kanaya to start her work.

 

**====== > Karkat: Snoop.**

     The Knight had seen some interesting things in his twelve sweeps—he’d seen kingdoms fall, the dead rise, the creation of a star the size of several universes, and even _aliens._ But this… Something about this grabbed his attention the way nothing else had.

He’d been looking for Kanaya so he could discuss some possible tactics for when they landed in the new session, and he heard some rather odd noises coming from her respiteblock as he approached. For a moment, he thought the jadeblood was in the middle of a pailling session with her matesprit (how would that even work? He’d heard they didn’t even have _gene bladders,_ for fuck’s sake), but then he heard Dave’s voice. Karkat had to peek, just to set his curiosity at ease.

What he was met with was the Time player dressed in what could only be described as a fashionista’s wet dream as the seamstress that designed it caked his face in makeup. Normally, this wouldn’t phase him much; trolls weren’t concerned about what you looked like on the outside, it’s what’s on the inside (read: your fucking blood color) that counts. But from what he was told by the two humans, this was a major taboo in their culture. He was trying to wrap his thinkpan about why before a cough brought him out of his reverie.

  
**====== > Karkat: Converse with Rose.**

     “I see you’ve been spying on them.”

     He jolted, closing the door quickly, but quietly. “WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?” He shout-whispered, “DO YOU _EVER_ MAKE NOISE WHEN YOU MOVE?”

     “That’s neither here nor there.” She sidestepped. “This is a free meteor, and I’m allowed to move through its halls at any volume I please. However…” She stared him down, even though he was a full measurement unit taller than her. “I’m sure the both of them would be interested as to why you’re violating their privacy…” Fuck her and that shit-eating smirk on her goddamn smug as fuck face.

     “IF YOU _MUST_ KNOW- NOT THAT IT’S ANY OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS- I WAS PLANNING ON ENTERING, BUT…”

     “You got distracted by that plush Strider rump, correct?”

     Karkat wasn't prepared for her bluntness. Fucking Seers and their precognition. “I THOUGHT SHIT LIKE THAT WAS _FORBIDDEN_ OR WHATEVER ON YOUR PLANET.”

     Rose scoffs. “Contrary to _some_ lifeforms, not every place on Earth had the exact same culture. Although, to your point, it was an unspoken societal custom at best; we had our outliers. The most flattering label for them was ‘crossdressers.’” She gives him a look. “Why the sudden interest?”

     “CAN’T A TROLL BE FUCKING CURIOUS EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE?” His eyes flicked to the door when he heard the occupants of the room laughing at a joke one of them said. Karkat sighed. He felt an odd feeling in his pumpbiscuit.

     “Feeling a little left out?” His brow furrowed, and he looked away. “You know, I’m sure that they’d be fine with you watching them, if you asked.” Rose’s lavender eyes looked him up and down. “Unless you were thinking about joining them…?”

  
**====== > Karkat: Protest.**

     “LIKE _FUCK_ I’M GONNA DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT!” He shouted, stealth be damned. His face flushed hot. “I’M PERFECTLY FINE WITH WHAT I HAVE ON, BULLSHIT CULTURAL NORMS OR NOT!”

     “Methinks the leader doth protest too much.”

     "DON’T YOU _DARE_ QUOTE TROLL SHAKESPEARE AT ME, LALONDE, HE WAS A HACK AND YOU KNOW IT!” He spun on his heels, ignoring whatever comeback she _obviously_ fired back, and stormed off to the transportalizer, disappearing in a flash of light and technology.

**Author's Note:**

> Written over the course of twelve hours (total) for someone I hold in high regard as a surprise(ish) birthday present.


End file.
